April 26, 2012

After a 48 hour hiatus from Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, DrawSomething, and Netflix, I have come to a shocking conclusion.

No one cares. And I don’t have the will power give up Instagram (it’s just too dadgum nice!).

Ah, no, not like in a dramatic, “everybody hates me” type of way—but in a matter of fact, the world will keep going with or without my presence on those different social networking things. Life goes on.

It was kind of nice; refreshing. It reminded me of my good ol’ mission days (except that I still had my phone and was still in contact with folks in that manner…) when my only source of entertainment was my companion, serving others, and teaching people about Christ and Heavenly Father and their plan for us. What awesome days those were…but these days are pretty sweet, too.

I’ve also taken a look at what I want to do, and why I want to do it. I had to do a short proposal for my program as to why I wanted to join the ranks of the Integrated Studies folk, and it made me reflect on why I want to do what I want to do.

I want to save lives. Unfortunately for me I have a…bad reaction to the sight of blood and it wouldn’t be beneficial for anyone to hand me a scalpel and be asked to open someone up. That would be ridiculous.

But regardless I want to save lives. Specifically the lives of adolescents who don’t see a light in their life anymore, who don’t think anyone cares , who don’t think they matter. Gosh, it just kills my heart every time I think that there are folks out there who don’t see themselves as mattering. I just want to shake them!!...but that would most likely be very ineffective. So here I am, trying to get my degree as quickly as possible so I can continue to get my masters so I can get out there ASAP and help those people.

Is it going to be hard? Heck yes. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll really be able to handle the pressure of death, to combat feelings so dark and devastating that they consider ending their life. But then I know I can because I won’t be alone in it. Romans 8:31 “What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?” With Him on my side, I got this.

Oddly enough, I’m quite excited. I can’t wait to change people, and to hopefully use music to help them discover things about themselves. Music has always been a safe place for me to fall, and I often times find myself escaping in it. Like that quote, “when words fail, music speaks.” Love that. I just love music and am thankful for the gift I’ve been given of it.

Joey and me on FaceTime

On a side note: I’ve realized this week (again) how much I love my brothers. They are legit the best thing ever, and I’m thankful for each of them. For Joey, my favorite (and only) older brother, who is constantly pushing me out of my comfort zone when it comes to my future and making sure I’m prepared. There is no one more driven than him, and I hope to have an ounce of that drive because I know even an ounce will get my places.

Justin and me in Utah

And Justin, what an incredible person and brother! He is currently on his mission in Phoenix, AZ and the growth he has experienced thus far is amazing. He’s changed so much, become more reliant on the Savior, and man. It’s just incredible what the touch of the Master’s hands can do to us if we allow His touch in our lives.

Jordan and me at ATL Coke factory

And finally, Jordan, the goober. He doesn’t let anything get to him, and that is so admirable. He goes with the flow, is chill, and funny. I’m glad I get to spend a couple of months with him before he goes on his mission as well. It’s fun to get to know him as an “adult” (though don’t let that word fool you—he still acts like your typical 18-year-old boy.

Life is good. I’ve been blessed with incredible family, friends, and opportunities to do good.

I even found this new mantra to live by:

Live in such a way that if anyone should speak badly about you no one would believe it.

Fin.

Welcome back

Well, I'm back from my mish. It's been an interesting transition to say in the least....it took me 3 days to watch a movie or the TV, 2 weeks to start reading books other than the approved missionary library, 3 weeks to be okay with going places alone, and 6 to realize I'm not going back...progress!!


Update: I'm working for Heidi's Heavenly Cookies...aka best job ever. I don't really know what my future holds--only that the Lord knows, and it's my job to find out. I never really was one for treasure-hunts, but here I am, trying to find my own.


I'm thinking of a couple ideas for next year, to keep it meaningful and more than just about me. I'm thinking a 366 days (leap year) of service and documenting it with my camera. That way I'm taking pictures, doing good things, and updating my blog (since this is easier to keep up than a journal...oopsies).



Aaaaaaaaand that's my life.

Excited for Christmas where I can see my brother and sister-in-law, and we get to hear from my missionary brother, Elder Justin Mack.



Life is good.

Last. Email. WHAT?!

Sooooooooooooo this won't end up being too long...I really don't have much to say. I've ended my mission strong. We taught 116 lessons this transfer and we were blessed with 2 baptisms. We worked so hard, and that was a blessing in and of itself. We went to the temple on Thursday for a departing trip and I prayed to know that Heavenly Father has accepted my service as a missionary, and I had the sweetest confirmation. Man. I really don't know what to even say in this email!!!!

Tuesday was rough--my last zone meeting. I cried (go figure) as myself and another Elder who goes home with me shared our testimonies of how our mission has effected our lives so tremenously. But it was a good day after that. In fact, that's how most of the days went this week. I cried every day a little bit since tuesday--not because I feel like I need to stay--I know my time is up. I served the Lord as He has asked me to. But it doesn't make it any less devastating to leave these people you have loved so much and to leave behind the calling of teaching children of God who don't know about the gospel. It's been amazing.

Friday I had my departing interview with President Black. A couple Elders that I'm friends with waited for my interview to be over and man did I come out looking like a crazy person. I cried the moment I entered President's office, and he asked me questions about my mission and what it has meant to me. I don't really remember what I said, but he said, "You truly understand what Elder Holland says when it comes to his mission, don't you?" I nodded in agreeance. In one of the talks I gave on Sunday (because I gave two) I told the single's ward with conviction that no young lady has nor ever will love her mission as much as I have. It's true. I don't think that is even possible. Well, except I'm sure that every RM sister says that, but I mean it :o).

Franki's baptism was AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!! I had an amazing surprise of Rachel Schwartz showing up to my baptism, too. It was amazing and weird to have both of my worlds combine for a moment--I was Jenn and Sister Mack all at once. It was good to see a piece of home. I love Rachel!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jeeeeez. That night we also burned some stuff to signify the end of my mission and another Elder's mission. It was awesome and I got some great video footage. Sunday was sad, gave 2 talks to prep me for my homecoming talk. Said bye to people...but the best part is that I can get on facebook tomorrow and add them all. Weird, eh?

I wanted to share one last scripture before my time is done. Its 2 Timothy 4: 2, 5-8 "Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine. (5) But watch thou in all things, endure affliction, do the work of an evangelist, make full proof of thy ministry. (6) For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand. (7) I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: (8) Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing."

I'm thankful for the gospel. I'm thankful for my mission and the profound effect that it has had on me and the way I look at my salvation. I know what the Lord requires of me, and I look forward to a lifetime of trying to live up to what He needs. I love Him so much.

....well guys, I'll either see you soon or talk atcha soon. Weird.

love love love,

Sister Mack

Transfer 13, Week 6.........​......sad day.

Hooooray for amazingly spiritual sacrament meetings that you KNOW were sent straight from Heavenly Father to bless the lives of His Children--namely Papa Cobby!!! Okay, so Sunday was great. Well, the whole week was great, even with the 7 lesson cancellations we had, but we still managed to work hard. I don't know how I'm still moving, honestly. I'm emotionally exhausted most of the time, but it's sooooooooooo worth it. The worth of souls is great in the eyes of God. And so if it means losing sleep and working to the bone and just being tired all the time, I'm more than willing. I literally have felt no greater joy. The thing I most scared of is when President Ernst releases me. I'm only scared because I can imagine myself as he asks me to remove my name tag...I see it now--me throwing over a table and bursting out the door, running wild-eyed to the nearest door for me to knock on and to share my testimony of the powerful effect that the Gospel can have in the lives of all people who are willing to use it. Buuuut then I'm pretty sure the loony bin would come pick me up and I'd be done. Which reminds me of the time that Sister Woznow and I were waiting in a mental hospital for us to talk to one of our investigators and they were under lock down because a fight broke out, so she and I were waiting with some of the teens who were admitted and I just looked at her and said, "how did we end up here?" And we proceeded to come up with a scenerio of me in a mental hospital 30 years down the road, wearing a hideous mumu of sorts, a broken video tape in hand and a black piece of paper on my chest, going from room to room trying to pass out my "Book of Mormon."..............I'm thinking that the whole scenerio was funnier when it wasn't typed out. Oh well, I fwd these emails to Sister Woznow and she'll get a kick out of it at least!! Man, the stories I will have to share...

Anyway, back to Sunday. So in our YSA a girl gave her homecoming talk. It was so moving what she said, and how profoundly she spoke about her experiences as a missionary. It hit me then that in just a little bit, I'm going to be an RM. What?! I never thought I would say those letters coupled together that mean so much, "Oh me? Oh yeah, I served a mission...I'm an RM." Those two words simply do not justify the experiences I had over the past 18 months. RM (return missionary) is a simple phrase that represents so much. All of who I am I owe to my Savior and my mission. Every ounce. And so anyway, I speak in the YSA next Sunday. So we jet from our YSA after sacrament to get to our family ward. We see Franki (WHO IS BEING BAPTIZED ON SATURDAY!!!!!!) and my heart just flutters with excitement for him. He's so wonderful. I cannot wait to see him be baptized and confirmed and rejoin the fold of our Heavenly Father. And this is where the most amazing Sacrament meeting happened!!!! This young man gave his farewell and said how he was serving for himself and his older brother, who cannot go due to health restrictions. And then I sang "His Hands" per request of the Bishop. I had just sung it two days prior completely perfect, but yesterday I had a couple voice cracks. It was really weird. But then I was taught that its not always through the most intellectual vessels or perfect strands of music that our hearts are touched by the Spirit. I was thankful to be able to share my talent that Heavenly Father has given me. And then the lady who spoke after me was just fabulous. She talked about losing her husband to cancer 6 years ago and how she was left alone with 5 little kids to take care of. She talked about how Heavenly Father will ALWAYS answer our prayers--just not necessarily through the means that we desire. He's an amazing God. And Waymond (Papa Cobby) has been struggling so hard with that. And he realized yesterday that it's about work. He isn't doing his part, and therefore he cannot expect the answers--whether it's in the way he desires or not. He's come so far even since I've first met with him. Aaaaand then I was asked to speak in the family ward. So next Sunday I'll be giving 2 talks, and my comp and I are doing a fireside for the youth. Craaaaaaay-zaaaaaaay!!

I find myself looking at my nametag more often now than ever. I feel the light weight of it on my left collarbone and feel so blessed to wear a little plastic black rectangle that represents so much. In just 8 short days I'll be home, and my nametag won't reside on my shoulder anymore. I remember when Ryan Greenburg came home from his mission and he was talking to me and he was like, "I came home and everything looks the same. It's as if I wasn't even gone, like it was a dream. But I know it happened." I know that's how it's going to be for me, and though I may not wear my Savior's name on my shoulder anymore, I definitely have His name permanently on my heart, where it will always be.


I love you all so much and am so thankful for the support you've given to me over the past 18 months. I'll email once more before I go home, but it probably won't be anything too interesting because I'm sure I'll be in shock.

love love love,
sister mack


picture one: Me giving Sister Leilua a piggy back ride on the hike down at RedRock
picture two: Sister Dixon, myself, and Sister Woznow--my babies I was sooooo so sooooooooooo blessed to train!!!

Transfer 13 Week 5

Glory glory!!! Who doesn't just LOVE General Conference???? I certainly love it with all my heart might mind and strength!! President Monson was a hoot, too. Isn't it amazing how amazing all the people that are called to be the Lord's mouthpieces in these latter-days? I'm so thrilled for everything. I love life!!! It loved Sunday AM session the most. It was just down-right amazing. I am so thankful for the words that were shared. I had prayers answered for me and the folks we're teaching. Heavenly Father hears our prayers and answers them in His time, and most often through the voice or means of other people.

I'm also so excited because we set two people with baptism dates this week!!! Robert, our racquetball-playing fiend agreed to be baptized on November 19!!! The only sad this is that I definitely won't be here for it, but that's okay. It's not about me witnessing it, it's about him doing it and making that huge change in his life. He's hilarious. The lesson we had with him, Sister Knighton and I actually had to go on exchanges for it because we had 2 appointments for 6:45. So I went to Roberts. Can I just say how thankful I am for companions? It is literally exhausting to teach by yourself. I tried using the members who took me as often as possible, but in the end I had to clarify and teach all the principles. I am so glad that Heavenly Father is wise in sending us in companionships--I could have never lasted doing this on my own. And thank goodness for my constant companion, the Holy Ghost!!! He helped me to pick up on any clue that Robert gave to keep the lesson moving forward (namely because he likes to talk a LOT and go off on bizarre tangents). I am thankful for the opportunity that I have to learn to listen to every prompting, no matter how small. Anywho, the other baptism is for Frankie (14 years old) on OCTOBER 15!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I pray that everything works out becaues it'd be a dream come true to see him enter the waters of baptism while I'm here. They read and pray as a family, and the only concern was church attendance because they hadn't made it a habit. SO we gave them a bold-sauce talk and told them they had to commit, and they took it well and committed. SO EXCITED!!!!

Funny things? I may or may not have lost at least 5 brain cells this week? Why? Because our District Leader, Elder Fulbright, challenged my comp and I to a clean-off (since today is supposed to be a day of cleaning). So, me being who I am, we JUMPED at the opportunity for a good challenge. Somehow I found myself claiming the bathroom to clean (first mistake) and then discovered that it is very difficult to get rid of rust stains that have probably been there since the apartment's existance. So I probably did some bad moves as I mixed a couple chemicals...I also ended up hand-scrubbing the tile floor in the bathroom. I also decided it would be best to clean the shower with me in it...with the water on. So I took a shower with my clothes on, scrubbing everything in sight. Too bad for me that there is still some marks, but other than that our apartment looks great and smells like straight bleach. BAM!!!!!

Life is good. I should be seeing Jo (who I was teaching up in Reno) on Saturday, which would be amazing. She wants to see me one last time before I go, and she's flown down for a convention for work. I hope everything works out.


My most favorite thing said at conference was by...Elder Richardson I think. I'll just change it a bit:
My mission has been the best [18 months] for my life.

And I couldn't agree more.


love love love,
sister mack

oh, and September 30 was my official 18-month mark!! WEIRD!!!!!!

Transfer 13 Week 4

Glory glory halelujah!!! (week four?!?!?! HOLY NIGHT!!!)

Don't you just LOVE the Relief Society General Broadcast? Elder Uchtdorf's talk just blew me away. The forgetmenot flower story...OH MY GOSH. Y'all need to read it as soon as it comes out for us to read. In fact, here is the link to see stuff about it: http://lds.org/pages/general-rs-meeting-2011?lang=eng read it and have your heart touched. I was SO touched when he said that we are not forgotten. Not a single one of us. God knows us each, knows where we are, and is aware of what we're doing and going through. He's amazing. He's our Eternal Father. Embrace that knowledge.

TODAY WE HIKED AT REDROCK with all the Sisters. It was awesome hanging out with old companions and being with the Sisters (all of us). One of the Sisters and I jogged up every little bit, and then jogged down. It was awesome.

Our Single's Ward is awesome. First of all, tonight's FHE is rocket-powered pinewood derby racecars race. Second, Sunday Bishop had a very serious talk with all of us about missionary work and how it can go forward. It's kinda slow in the ward, and he's determined to pick it up. So he challenged us to get to know every single one of the members and he's challenging the members to know us and help us. I'm sad it's taken so long for this to happen, BUT I'm thankful that it's happened before I have left. So now everyone in the Single's ward is super friendly. A lot of them talk during sacrament meeting, so that's not too pleasing, but we're making steps. One of the folks suggested that we bear our testimony to everyone as they walk in. I wasn't too keen on the idea because I don't feel my testimony is something that should be thrown off-hand and made into a comic event, so both Sister Knighton and I bore our testimonies in the meeting. I haven't been moved to do so in a while, but I knew I was supposed to. I got up there and testified as so why we're here--taking President Uchtdorf's 4th "forget me not"--forget not the WHY of the gospel. Why do we go to church? Why do we read, pray, invite, work in our callings,etc. WHY? Because we love our Father. Because it's through prayer that we communicate with him. Because through the scriptures we can know His will for us. Because He loves us so deeply and dearly that He has provided the sacrament for us to renew our covenants, and then the other classes in church to help strengthen us and those around us. Why am I on my mission? Because I know my Savior lives. Just imagine for 3 minutes not knowing that. How heartbreaking. Not knowing that He lives, loves us, and we can be with Him and our Father again. Heavenly Father has entrusted us as members with the Gospel because He has faith that we will share it with those around us. Man. So blessed. It was a good meeting.

We got a new investigator this week. Robert. We taught him about the book of Mormon on Tuesday and he taught us racquetball on Wednesday. I ended up running into the wall and twisting my ankle, but alas, I will survive. I didn't take after my dad or grampa Mack in my racquetball skills. We also biked on Saturday. The only bike we could find for me was a beach cruiser, and that was sweet. Riding to the church (we did service ALL DAY and contacted people at a geneology jamboree) was easy because it was downhill. But then we went further downhill to a baptism of the Elder's, and then needed to bike back uphill. Well, on my 1 speed red beach cruiser I was a little nervous and asked to ride in front of sis Knighton so if I fell behind she'd know. So what happens? I somehow miraculously transform into the Hulk and beasted that hill (of course with legging on under my skirt) and beat Sister knighton pretty bad in biking. So bad in fact that I didn't realize she wasn't behind me until I turned onto the road where the church was. 2-3 minutes go by and as I was about to circle back she comes around the corner. She was impressed with my abilities to beast the hill. So we've decided to bike on Saturdays :o)

Well, this email is pretty long. I remember when I first came out I had super duper long emails. Now I consider this long. Oh yes, and Superbowl for missionaries is this weekend--GENERAL CONFERENCE!!!! So excited. SO thrilled. I love hearing from a modern, living Prophet the things our Father wants us to hear. AREN'T WE BLESSED!!!


I love you all, behave yourselves.

love love love,
sister mack

PS-MY "LITTLE SIS" RACHEL GOT HER MISSION CALL TO THE MESA ARIZONA TEMPLE VISITOR'S CENTER MISSION SPANISH SPEAKING!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so proud of her!!!

Transfer 13 Week 3

First things first.

JUSTIN GOT HIS MISSION CALL TO PHOENIX, AZ SPANISH SPEAKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No one could be prouder than me!!! I'm so excited for him. He reports November 9, meaning I get just under 3 weeks with him. I'm so thankful I'll get to see him, though, before he leaves. Holy smokes. I'm just so excited. Spanish!!! BUENOS DIAS, erryone!! That's just amazing. AH I'm so stoked. What a great experience missions are!!! I'm so excited for everything he's going to learn, and for the man he will become. That's legit. Man. So awesome. I'm so thankful!!! I haven't prayed for anyone harder than him on my mission, and I'm so thankful for the Lord working in his life.

Next thing--Josie was baptized!!! It was such a sweet experience. She was crying and just looked like the weight of the world was lifted. And it can be!!! I wish we would all effectively apply the Atonement of our Savior in our lives so that we could benefit from the healing powers it has. SO THANKFUL for my Savior. So thankful.

Not excited for Wednesday. You see, there's this lady that we visit who isn't active. Her house smells instantly of cat pee when you walk in (overwhelmingly so) and she's making us dinner. She also loves organic weird things, and my palat isn't that diverse. So she makes weird ginger root of carrot with a sprinkling of garlic skin stuff. Last time I feigned ill and didn't eat much, but I don't think I can fake it every time. Her desserts are good and normal, so I guess that'll be rewarding in and of itself. But she's feeding us, which is fortunate for us. Speaking of being fed...our single's ward mission leader SPOILED US ROTTEN on Saturday. He and his wife treated us to the Cheesecake factory. Legit it was one of the most delicious meals I've had on my mission. I had the dulce de leche cheesecake too and I'm pretty sure it had addictive drugs in it or something because it was just downright amazing. Holy moly. That same WML is also doing a tennis tournament for folks we're teaching/a farewell party for me on October 15. I laughed when I heard, but I'm pretty sure he won't make too big a deal over me leaving. He's such a great WML. He's working with Thaddeus.

Oh, this week it POURED!!! It was amazing. I also got to see a lady Sister Johnson and I were working with in South zone--JULIANNE STONE!!! She brought her darling baby and took us to lunch to Cafe Rio. she's so amazing. Babies are the perfect time to get someone to go back to church too, so I have high hopes for her.

So our investigators and jazz? Tempest and Chad are doing well. We need to get them to church is all, so then they can be baptized. They know it's true--they told us so this past week. Waymond is someone the missionaries have been working with for legit 5 years. He's like a yo-yo with progress, but he's working hard on developing faith and has finally started to pray for himself, little by little. He needs the church so badly, and wants it. He just has to do the necessary things to get there. The Ramseys are doing AWESOME!!! They're moving in November to a house, though. But I know their progress will still be good. They're such a great family and they read and study and write in their study journals we gave them ALL THE TIME!!! Our YSA investigators are doing well, Fiona especially. Heldder and Ashley are great--she would be baptized so quick...except she and Heldder need to a) get married or b) not live together. Bummmmmer. Oh well. They're hilarious and we always have a great time teaching them. AND we got a sweet new golden (hopefully) referral for this man who has had a lot of bad stuff happen to him lately, and he said he needs church to give him a purpose. He talked to me on the phone for a good 15 minutes and we're going to meet with him tomorrow.

LIFE IS GOOD!! I'm excited to play yoga ball (the game we invented last week). This time I'm going to brace my elbow because it's still sore from last week. Life is so good I'm so enthralled and I'm excited to work by brains out for 4 more weeks. It doesn't feel real, still. But that's okay. I guess if it felt too real I'd stop working. Or maybe I'd work harder? Idk. All I know is that I'm in this until the end.


be good, feed a missionary, talk to someone in the ward who doesn't look like they have friends.


love love love,
sister mack


PICTURES:
1- Sister Knighton, Josie, her great granddaughters (Jopi and Audrey), and me at Josie's baptism!!!
2- Me and Sophia, the Ramsey's 5-year-old daughter after a Spanish baptism I sang at.