April 26, 2012

After a 48 hour hiatus from Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, DrawSomething, and Netflix, I have come to a shocking conclusion.

No one cares. And I don’t have the will power give up Instagram (it’s just too dadgum nice!).

Ah, no, not like in a dramatic, “everybody hates me” type of way—but in a matter of fact, the world will keep going with or without my presence on those different social networking things. Life goes on.

It was kind of nice; refreshing. It reminded me of my good ol’ mission days (except that I still had my phone and was still in contact with folks in that manner…) when my only source of entertainment was my companion, serving others, and teaching people about Christ and Heavenly Father and their plan for us. What awesome days those were…but these days are pretty sweet, too.

I’ve also taken a look at what I want to do, and why I want to do it. I had to do a short proposal for my program as to why I wanted to join the ranks of the Integrated Studies folk, and it made me reflect on why I want to do what I want to do.

I want to save lives. Unfortunately for me I have a…bad reaction to the sight of blood and it wouldn’t be beneficial for anyone to hand me a scalpel and be asked to open someone up. That would be ridiculous.

But regardless I want to save lives. Specifically the lives of adolescents who don’t see a light in their life anymore, who don’t think anyone cares , who don’t think they matter. Gosh, it just kills my heart every time I think that there are folks out there who don’t see themselves as mattering. I just want to shake them!!...but that would most likely be very ineffective. So here I am, trying to get my degree as quickly as possible so I can continue to get my masters so I can get out there ASAP and help those people.

Is it going to be hard? Heck yes. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll really be able to handle the pressure of death, to combat feelings so dark and devastating that they consider ending their life. But then I know I can because I won’t be alone in it. Romans 8:31 “What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?” With Him on my side, I got this.

Oddly enough, I’m quite excited. I can’t wait to change people, and to hopefully use music to help them discover things about themselves. Music has always been a safe place for me to fall, and I often times find myself escaping in it. Like that quote, “when words fail, music speaks.” Love that. I just love music and am thankful for the gift I’ve been given of it.

Joey and me on FaceTime

On a side note: I’ve realized this week (again) how much I love my brothers. They are legit the best thing ever, and I’m thankful for each of them. For Joey, my favorite (and only) older brother, who is constantly pushing me out of my comfort zone when it comes to my future and making sure I’m prepared. There is no one more driven than him, and I hope to have an ounce of that drive because I know even an ounce will get my places.

Justin and me in Utah

And Justin, what an incredible person and brother! He is currently on his mission in Phoenix, AZ and the growth he has experienced thus far is amazing. He’s changed so much, become more reliant on the Savior, and man. It’s just incredible what the touch of the Master’s hands can do to us if we allow His touch in our lives.

Jordan and me at ATL Coke factory

And finally, Jordan, the goober. He doesn’t let anything get to him, and that is so admirable. He goes with the flow, is chill, and funny. I’m glad I get to spend a couple of months with him before he goes on his mission as well. It’s fun to get to know him as an “adult” (though don’t let that word fool you—he still acts like your typical 18-year-old boy.

Life is good. I’ve been blessed with incredible family, friends, and opportunities to do good.

I even found this new mantra to live by:

Live in such a way that if anyone should speak badly about you no one would believe it.

Fin.